Dear Sir/Madam,
At the age of 40, I've recently returned to my hometown in Long Island, NY,
after spending 10 years abroad teaching the English language in 8 different countries,
where I learned to read & write in 3 foreign languages, with 3 different sets of alphabets...
My first job was as a Wagon Boy at a busy supermarket near my childhood home,
and my parents didn't even know I'd applied until my first shift was set to begin,
which was the day after my 13th birthday, the first day I could legally be employed,
a day I'd patiently & secretly been awaiting to come for many years.
Besides the usual lessons I learned from experiencing the workplace,
like saving money, the importance of arriving on time, etc.,
the most useful one I took away was when I was collecting carts outside,
where I quickly realized if it were legal to run someone over with no consequences,
then many people would kindly & willfully do it on a daily basis,
as I ducked & dodged the speeding automobiles in the crowded parking lot,
in between running inside to clean up another broken jar of tomato sauce on Aisle 11...
Two years later I had to quit my after-school job unexpectedly
after I'd finished 1st from over 1,000 applicants, through 3 rounds of interviews,
in an international student exchange competition sponsored by the Rotary Club,
and I was given the opportunity to live abroad for the first time.
So after a year by myself at the age of 15 in a small village in Japan,
I returned home and found work as an intern at a large advertising firm.
My responsibilities included being an Executive Assistant for VIP clients
who had just arrived on the business-class red-eye from Tokyo.
They ordered me around in English when they needed my services,
not knowing I was able to understand their language fluently,
as I stood discreetly to the side, eavesdropping on their conversations,
whereupon I would feed my boss inside information on the negotiations
when I went away to brew another round of Espressos...
I did end up in the grocery business again, albeit temporarily, many years later,
but this time it was behind the counter of the Seafood Department,
even though I've never eaten any fish in my life, besides 'Chicken of the Sea'.
My first few days were concentrated on weighing & filleting,
but I kept one ear to all the customers' comments & questions behind me,
so when it was finally my turn to interact with them at the counter,
I was able to describe the subtle nuances of the catch of the day,
to the point where they had to add an extra half-pound to their order.
P.S. I sincerely apologize to the lobster community for what I did,
but it was part of my duties to split so many of them in half while still alive,
as they fought valiantly for survival with their banded claws...
Luckily, in juxtaposition to my butchering of crustaceans,
my soul was redeemed when I was Purchasing Manager for the Big Apple Circus,
a multi-million dollar not-for-profit performing arts organization,
supporting children with chronic & terminal illnesses in every city we visited,
which was 12 in all, over a period of 12 months traveling on the road.
I was the youngest Department Head in their history at the time,
a 25-year-old monitoring the distribution of a $5 million budget,
including the arrangement of services like garbage & port-a-potty removal,
as well as locating 18” rubber chickens & styrofoam red noses in bulk...
I was trusted with this responsibility because of previous work
as a Supply Technician aboard a nuclear-powered submarine in the US Navy.
I scored in the 97th percentile from 99 on the military entrance exam,
well above the 80 needed for the underwater service,
with the minimum requirement being 60 for any type of enlistment back in 1995,
but which has now unfortunately been reduced to 40 to enter.
I was stationed in Pearl Harbor on the oldest sub in the force at the time,
and we mostly played the Rabbit to the newer vessels testing equipment as the Fox,
so the longest period I experienced without seeing the sky was only 21 days,
compared to the 3 month tours some other sailors take...
My worst job was probably as a Sign Holder in front of a shopping center,
which obviously demands a ridiculous amount of self-respect to try,
but the worst part was the other 5 signs stuck in the ground beside me,
as we stood for hours & hours together over a few cold December days,
and I even began to wonder if they were getting paid a bigger salary...
I also had to gather every ounce of self-confidence I could muster
when I worked as a Busboy/Waiter in Jerusalem while at university.
I walked into a new-age Middle Eastern tavern I'd frequented once or twice,
a place where I'd noticed none of their staff could speak English,
so I approached the Shift Manager unannounced, and offered my services.
I could speak just enough Hebrew to take away plates & pints,
and I would take all the orders & tips from the foreign guests,
possibly increasing the tourist business through word-of-mouth at the hotel.
The Manager took a moment, but finally agreed, and I started the next evening,
even with a complete lack of documents or a working visa...
Which was in complete contrast to the previous job I'd had in Israel,
working legally over the summer on a farm near the Lebanese border.
I walked with a partner & a wheelbarrow through the Chicken Coops,
using a pitchfork & shovel to remove the dead & diseased fowl,
as we made our way down the massive structures toward the incinerator,
and, on 2nd thought, maybe that was really my worst job...
The most threatened I've ever felt during my job responsibilities
was when I was the NY metro-area Manufacturer's Rep for a chemical company,
and when the thick steel doors of the minimum-security prison closed behind me,
I briefly felt infinitely alone in the buffer zone, a holding room with no entrance nor exit,
though minutes later I was waxing & polishing the floors with a group of convicts,
giving them tips & techniques on how to get a fine shine. (It's all in the wrists)
Before I was able to gather my buckets & gloves and go home,
I was approached by the inmate who had been assigned to assist me,
and he extended his hand & thanked me for treating him like a human being,
he said he hadn't been spoken to like a real person for quite a while, and he was grateful,
and I felt a little less alone as I stood in the buffer zone awaiting my escape...
I started teaching English abroad full-time in 2006 when I went to China,
where I worked in an overcrowded & understaffed ghetto Kindergarten,
with 35 screaming & impatient children waiting for me to entertain them.
I had to throw everything I'd learned at college in the garbage,
and I picked up 3 stuffed animals from the messy classroom floor
and threw them in the air, relying on a skill I'd picked up in the circus.
I was able to keep the plush piglet & bumblebee & sheep circling around,
and all the students' attention were quickly fixated on me & my tricks,
and by the end of the week they were all able to say, 'I want a hamburger!'
Mission Accomplished...
From middle-school classrooms in Siberia, to private lessons at IT companies in Poland,
I have taught the details of the English language in various situations.
From middle-aged bankers at Credit Agricole, to mentoring a Billionaire's kid in Kiev,
my focus has always been on improving a person's ability to communicate,
in my language & theirs, because words are secondary compared to how we present them...
References available upon request.
Sincerely,
Jaime Siev
